Accepting Compliments


“You look beautiful today.”
Simple statement and one that always worried me. I always wondered why a person would say that. Is it because I really look beautiful? Do they want me or need me to do something? Did someone put them up to saying it like a joke? I just never knew what they wanted. It never crossed my mind that I actually may look beautiful to that person at that moment.

Worse than having an issue with accepting compliments without feeling foolish, I have more trouble accepting them from people I know as opposed to people that I don’t. Strangers don’t know me, they have nothing to gain with the exception of trying to get my number which is harder than getting blood from a stone. They don’t have to say it so it just seems more legit.

People that know you have motives to saying that you’re beautiful. Not necessarily evil motives, just something motivates them to uttering the phrase: “You look beautiful today.” It could be an attempt to cheer me up when I’m not feeling so beautiful. It could be to warm me up for something else not so beautiful. It could be many things. But apparently, not really being beautiful.

I think the hardest time for me to accept a compliment comes not only from people that know me but people that love me. Loving me means loving me when I’m all dressed up for an event but also loving me when I wake up in the morning and all the glory that comes with that. Loving me on my good, warm,and friendly days is easy. Loving me when I want to crawl through the phone and put a choke hold on the cable company is not so easy. So when a person that would tell you that you look beautiful in a Chanel dress would also tell that they love you in a burlap sack, I would have a tendency to dismiss the compliment. Not rudely, just try to shoo it away or sweep it under the compliment rug.

Why is it that people have a hard time accepting compliments? Why do I have a hard time? It’s seems like everyone wants to hear a compliment but never seem to know what to do with them once they get it. You don’t want to sound to arrogant by saying that you KNOW you look beautiful, or insult them by saying that you DON’T. Hence, my rug sweeping technique.

Yesterday, I got called out on my compliment dismissal and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could it be that in my mind when I’m wearing horizontally striped capri leggings, Jeff’s Superman t-shirt, my hair in about 18 different directions, and a notoriously missing a bra; that I don’t look nor feel like Halle Berry? I wouldn’t walk to the front yard to check the mail in that outfit! Then I realized two things: (1) I never look like Halle Berry (2) to him I always do.

Today, I am going to just accept compliments. All of them, even one from you. I’m just going to say thank you and believe that what you are saying, no matter who you are, is what you truly feel at that time. A compliment is a good thing and I should treat it as such.

Do you have a tough time taking compliments? Do you know why?
tags: compliment, good, fun, regina, universe, beautiful, halle, berry

About the Author