Foolish Worry

Worry

If the worriers of the world had a country… I would be their Queen. I worry about everything. I worry of what will happen if I do something and I equally worry if I don’t do anything at all. I worry about the decisions I make and those that I don’t and even the ones that I can’t control. I just worry, it’s what I do.

I never knew my grandmothers on either sides of my family since both of them had died long before I was a twinkle in my parent’s eyes. My father’s mother died when he was fifteen years old of a heart attack and she was very young. Ever since my daughter turned fifteen I thought of what that would be like for her. How devastating it would be. What if that was my fate? Then I went to bed on Wednesday night and my life literally changed overnight.

My sleep issues are the stuff of legend and when I feel like a good night’s sleep I’ll pop a NyQuil tablet and snooze for a good eight hours. I was only asleep for about an hour and ahalf when I woke up suddenly and panicked.

I felt like I was drowning and I bolted upright and took that emergency deep breath that only people who have experienced the feeling of drowning could truly understand. Then I went from drowning to feeling like I was on fire.

(GROSS ALERT – You’ve been warned)

I realized that I had a bout of acid reflux and my icky burning stomach fluids shot into my mouth and nose and it was horrible. I had trouble breathing and my heart was beating out of my chest and the taste in my mouth was disgusting.

I ran into the bathroom and tried to flush the taste out of my mouth and nose. Between the panicking and chest pain and several loud bursts of profanity I happened to wake up Jeff – who can normally sleep through a nuclear war. I tried to convince him I was fine but he wasn’t convinced. He checked on me and I was jumping in the shower hoping steam would open me up a bit and ease the burning. It didn’t work.

After two minutes Jeff was already getting dressed ready to call rescue. I tried to stop him and just see what the next five minutes would be like but my heart was beating out of my chest and I thought that I may really have a heart attack. He called 911. All I could think of was this was it. I was living out my legacy of young death just like my grandmother. I feared for my children.

At the hospital it was explained to me that I inhaled the acid reflux ickiness which is why everything in my chest is on fire but since my family history is riddled with heart disease they decided to keep me to run some tests to make sure that I didn’t have a minor heart attack.

While waiting for my stress test I had the opportunity to listen to the woman ahead of me taking her test. She was smaller than me and slightly older and she was off the treadmill in about 15 seconds and she couldn’t continue. The doctor said they need at least 30 seconds to read her EKG and she just couldn’t do it.

When I went in I was told the same 30 seconds was required of me. I told them that I’ve run for a few years now and even though I’m not small I did a half marathon and I can do this test. I don’t think they believed me. They stopped me after 7 minutes on a huge incline running over 5 miles per hour. Unheard of in the cardiac ward. They were impressed and gave me the shot that would make my heart “glow” and something went wrong. I had to do the test again. They asked me if I could do it again and I told them that I could do it all day. I was released shortly after my second 7 minute run.

I learned something spending that night in the hospital. I learned that my worry was foolish because instead of worrying I could have just seen my doctor and expressed my concerns and discovered that I have an extremely healthy heart. I think I subconsciously couldn’t put forth all of my energy into running because of that fear. Ridiculous.

When I checked out of the hospital after 14 hours I emerged a new person with a new lease on life and a new outlook on worry. I really need to worry about the things I can control and if I can control them then worry is foolish because a little bit of action can replace years of worry.

Looks like the country of Worry is taking applications for a new Queen!

About the Author

Regina Foster Bartlett is a mother of two teenagers who recently married her soulmate and believes her favorite wedding gift was the addition of four stepchildren and four grandchildren! She’s a confessed tech-nerd who loves all things social media. She’s also a published freelance writer and she’s been blogging since before blogging was cool. She's the voice behind the radio broadcast and writer behind this blog. Always on the lookout for interesting stories she can be reached by emailing: regina@reginasuniverse.com or using the Contact form by clicking the link above.