I’ve never been much of a gardener. I’ve tried to grow things in the past but it never seems to work out. Sadly, my green thumb doesn’t exist but I thought I could turn things around.
Last year for my birthday Jeff’s mother bought me a gorgeous gardening kit and three mums for my new interest in weeding and planting. I cared for the mums in the pots until the end of the season and then I waited until spring to transplant them outside. Of the three mums one was sprouting more than the others so I was very careful with it. I transplated it to the focal part of my yard right where people come into the house.
I loved this mum as it was the first successful garden thing that I have personally tended and it grew. As the months went by it started getting larger and larger and I was waiting for the flowers and anticipating that they would start any moment now. It was very exciting.
Jeff’s mom came over this weekend and I was thrilled to show her my creation. I wanted to let her know how much I appreciated her gift to me and that it was tended to with love and adoration. Proud as a peacock I usher her to my gorgeously growing plant and in once sentence my world was shattered.
“I hate to tell you this, Regina, but that’s not a mum,” she said.
“WHAT? That’s impossible! I took the plants in the winter and loved them until the spring and then transplanted the little guy in the spring and have taken delight in watching it grow. It HAS to be a mum,” I replied.
“It’s a weed,” she said.
It was really world’s most loved and cared for weed. I started to think of how this weed can certainly be a metaphor for many parts of my life. I wonder how many times I’ve wasted energy on nurturing the wrong thing? I’ve nurtured many relationships that would ultimately choke the life out of me much like a weed does to a garden. I may have even pulled the actual mum trying to keep it away from the weed!
I was heartbroken… at first. Then I really focused on the acts of love and kindness I bestowed upon this weed. I have to find joy in the act of loving. I loved this weed and showed it the very best side of my nurturing self. It may not have been the ideal plant to love but I loved it sincerely and genuinely.
In my last relationship before Jeff I involved with a man that was just wrong. I beat myself up for not being able to see what was so plainly in front of me. I was so infatuated with him. The demise of that relationship nearly ruined my self-esteem and my own personal judgement. I hated that I was so wrong.
Now, many years later my garden weed has given me an opportunity to forgive myself for my judgement because even though he wasn’t the best person for me the fact that I genuinely and lovingly tried to nurture that relationship isn’t wrong. In fact, the love of that weed will actually give me a firm base to stand on with my next garden. Just like this last horrible relationship paved the way to me finding my soulmate.
Who knew there were so many life lessons in a weed?